How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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