Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
