it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
