No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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