I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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