soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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