Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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