he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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