THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
