Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
