just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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