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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
