Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
