Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
