Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
