we have officially lost it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
