Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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