my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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