I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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