I cannot find my penis.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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