I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
