...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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