so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
