Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
