No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
