drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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