He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
