Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
