I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
