Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
