Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
