We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
