He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
