Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
