i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
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