What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
