I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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