hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
