He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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