In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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