I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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