Already got asked if we're dating
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
