Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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