Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
