I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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