Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
