I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
