shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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