Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
