I skipped work to stalk him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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