Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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