just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
